It just breaks my heart to know that this is really true and that yes...my dad has been gone for ~1825 days.
He has missed so much....but I just pray that he knows that he did a great job with me!
My dad was really the love of my life.
He poured everything he had into raising me and for that I am so thankful.
So as Friday approaches...I will try not be upset, WON'T HAPPEN, but in all things I will be thankful for the wonderful 19 years that we had together.
There has not been a day that went by since November 28, 2003 that I haven't thought about my dad...wished he were here...or wondered what life would be like now.
I can't go back, even though I WISH I COULD...so I must move on. But moving on without a dad when your so young...just doesn't seem right!
I want to sit in his lap in the recliner...I want to tell him about my kids at school...I want to kiss him...I want to laugh with him...most of all...I JUST WANT TO HEAR HIS VOICE!
I wanted him to see me go off to college (just 1 month after he passed)...I wanted him to see me fall in love with the man of my dreams...I wanted him to see me graduate college...I wanted him to see me get married...I wanted him to see my husband become a Texas Game Warden...there is so much...but.....
I miss my dad more than anything in the world and would really do almost anything to have him back. The tears don't stop, the wishes never end, and my thoughts will forever be of the good times that we shared.
I sit here balling my eyes out, because for these past 5 years I've just prayed that it wasn't true...that it was a horrible nightmare...but with each Thanksgiving holiday it becomes more visible that this is my life. This will be the first year since his death that the day after Thanksgiving (the day he died) will be on the 28th (the day he died) since the accident.
So for once it will be just 1 day of complete remeberance...grief...joy...etc...etc.
This is not something that gets easier with time.
My love, my heart, my tears will always be...for MY DADDY!
<3...
His Little Girl,
~Amanda Kay~
2 comments:
I'll be praying for you this week. I'm sure he loved you more than you could ever imagine. Just by the way you talk about him is so sweet in itself. I'm so glad that you remember everything about it. I'd like to hear more about him. He seems like such an amazing man. God bless!
I too think about this being the first Friday that has the same date as five years ago.
Even though I cannot be with you this Friday - I am with you in spririt and in prayer.
Your Dad may not be here to see in person the things you have accomplished but he knows and is so proud - just as I am.
The things your Dad taught you and made you do all those 19 years are the reason you are such a responsible, mature and wonderful person today. Keep doing what is right and it will always bring you blessings.
God's plan for our lives never seems to take the path we would take, but as I look back on my life, I see how wonderful God has been to me. It is during our darkest hour that we are closest to God. It is ashame we are not that close during the good times as well.
Use this Friday for good - serve others and God will continue to bless you.
I miss you and love you so much.
Be careful as you drive on Friday. I know that driving and being a passenger takes on a whole new meaning to me.
I look forward to seeing you in December.
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