Each Christmas since Chad & I have been married we pick an angel from the angel tree. Chad completely supports and encourages this family tradition of mine and his, however until this year I've always been the one to decide which angel we get. This year Chad was shopping for Christmas presents and knew that I had been impatiently waiting for the mall to put up their angel tree. I received a picture message from him one day last week of the tree...IT WAS UP! I was so excited and so glad he thought to send me that picture! I truly have the best husband in the world! ...Anyways...when I got off work we went to the mall together to sort through the angels. I have such a soft heart and reading these angel tree cards always brings tears to my eyes. Some of the cards just have wishes...but some cards reveal personal information (seeking a new life with the Lord, in drug rehab, homeless, teenage mother with child...etc); I can't help but swell up with tears and pray for each one as I read their card. I know it is not my place to take every angel on the tree and I thank God that he has given me the strength to pray for them and continue on my search for our perfect angel! Since the year we began this tradition (2006) I put in place some rules/criteria to help me with the search: each year I alternate boy/girl, as I browse the tree I can pick up their card and read it and place it back on the tree...but NEVER walk away with their card and return them to the tree, and lastly I pray in advance for God to lead me to who has just for Chad & I. ...SO this year as Chad & I were at the tree together...it was just so special! I found Kelly and immediately felt a connection; her card read Kelly age 13 no father she lives at the orphanage and goes to school ...goodness, I have tears now just typing this. With me loosing my father at the age of 19 I feel her pain...although I was nowhere close to being in her situation, I can relate to her. I could not keep my eyes off of her card! ...Then there was Cherlene (not sure if its Cherlene or Charlene?!?!); her card read Cherlene 12 years old stress relief...dealing with stress at the age of 12! I'm not sure why she has stress but I do know that stress can often times be uncontrollable; it's something we have to totally give up to God and even then it's a physical, emotional battle within our self. I truly feel like God placed these 2 girls on my heart and in my path for a reason. ...BUT WHICH ONE WAS I TO CHOOSE?!?! I was torn. I immediately drew myself closer to Kelly. We left the tree with Kelly's card in hand and continued our shopping. Cherlene was still on my heart and I couldn't get her off my mind. I expressed these thoughts to Chad so his solution was to go back and get Cherlene which meant leaving Kelly on the tree. I said okay and we left with Cherlene's card...as I walked away from that tree in the middle of Cielo Vista Mall I immediately broke down in tears, uncontrollable tears! I broke my own criteria...I was so upset and Chad could do nothing to make me feel better. All I wanted to do was get in the car and cry! He allowed me to do that and we went to eat lunch. I did not enjoy it; my heart was hurt. I abandoned Kelly just like everyone else had. I put her back on the tree and took someone else. This was never what I wanted...never my intention...I didn't know what to do and Chad was just trying to do what he thought I wanted and I was trying to do what I thought Chad wanted. After lots of tears and a great talk with Chad we drove back to the mall and thanks be to God, Kelly's card was exactly where I had left it. I now had Kelly & Cherlene which is exactly what I felt the Lord had meant for us to do in the first place. This, having 2 angels, is not a new rule and is not being added to the list of rules/criteria but what I will stress to myself is that I will follow God's lead even if that means putting MY criteria to the side!
In honor of all our paper angels each year we purchase a letter representing our angel and hang each letter by our tree to remember to pray for these angels God has placed in our life.
Billy (2006), Zamaya (2007), Eloy (2008) & Kelly & Cherlene (2009)
Kelly
Cherlene
Paper Angels by Jimmy Wayne
(lyrics obtained from lyrics.astraweb.com; I am not responsible any misspellings found in the song!)
Every day after Thanksgiving sell,
Malls just ain't complete,
Without a bunch of decorations and a paper angel tree,
There's artificial smiles on artificial tree limbs,
saying what she'd love to have and what to buy for him,
Well I hope Maggie likes her new winter clothes,
And her buggie with a baby doll,
And maybe Thomas smile in his new Nike shoes,
When he shoots that basketball,
I can't help but wishing, that I could do more,
But not just while I'm shopping in the department store,
Paper angels you're in my thoughts and prayers,
No matter where you are right now,
Remember God's right there,
He's asking all of us,
To help take care of all his paper angels everywhere,
Going through the mail on this stary afternoon,
I see a mom and dad's worse dream,
Their on the back of a money-savin-add,
To get my carpet clean,
Height, weight, hair, eyes, date missin, and D.O.B.
A child's picture and the words Have you see me,
Paper angels you're in my thoughts and prayers,
No matter where you are right now,
Remember God's right there,
He's asking all of us,
To help take care of all his paper angels everywhere
His documented bruises, film, a folder and a file,
She's a second grade self portrait drawn without a smile,
And every town has litter with this kind of debree,
We've got to stop this madness, it's up to you and me
Paper angels you're in my thoughts and prayers,
No matter where you are right now,
Remember God's right there,
He's asking all of us,
To help take care of all his paper angels everywhere,
Paper angels everywhere
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